Updated: 11/9/22

Being a mom is so rewarding, yet so hard! As moms, we are hard on ourselves… we are our own worst critic. Mom guilt is tricky and it likes to creep in, but know you are not alone. I want to tell you, that you are a good mom and you can do this! Here are some tips to help overcome mom guilt.

Guilt is a normal and powerful emotion. Some guilt is normal and healthy. I think it is an emotion that can help us strive to be better and do better. However, we sometimes take this too far, especially moms! There are so many things we can be or are guilty about.

I don’t know about you, but my guilt contradicts itself sometimes. Somedays I am guilty that I am working too much. Then I feel guilty the next day because I am working too little. It seems like no matter what, I find something to feel guilty about.

Here are some common “mom guilts”. Maybe you are struggling with some of the things on the list.

• Working out of the home (or being a SAHM)
• Taking time to take care of ourselves
• Getting takeout or not making “healthy enough” meals
• Getting angry or upset with our children
• Losing our cool- both with our spouse or kids
• Not reading enough to them
• Not spending enough time
• Not being present with our kids
• Not exercising
• Not setting the example we want for our kids
• Getting a babysitting or daycare provider
• Our kids behavior
• Questioning if we are doing our best to keep them safe
• Questioning if we are doing our best to raise good humans
• Questioning of you are doing enough as a parent
• Questioning health issues… if you can do more to help, if you should have done something sooner
• Seriously I could probably go on forever with this list!

For years, I struggled with mom guilt. I was stressed and had a hard time feeling good about myself because of the guilt and stress. I feel like I have finally come up with a solution that works for me!

It’s normal to worry but how do we know if we worry too much? Seriously, I have a problem with worrying and overanalyzing everything! You guys the stress and mom guilt is real!

I want to let you that you are NOT alone! It is normal to have mom guilt, but you do need to learn to cope with the mom guilt or it will eat you alive!

I want to say, this doesn’t mean that I never feel guilty… it just means that I have a better handle on it. I have found a way to manage the guilt and use the guilt I do feel to help myself be better.

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links. I may earn a percentage (at no extra cost to you) if you make a purchase through a link that I have shared. I am an amazon affiliate.

Here are some ways to help battle mom guilt:

1. Decrease stress-
   • First, check out my post for 19 ways to decrease stress. This has some great ideas for easy tips to implement to decrease stress. If you are stressed, it’s hard to manage the mom guilt.
   • Honestly, I feel like finding ways to manage your stress is the first step to helping decrease your guilt.

2. Write down your goals- make them measurable AND attainable. It’s good to have goals and expectations but they NEED to be HEALTHY!

• Goals help us to improve and give us something to strive for. It’s hard to improve if you don’t have a goal to improve upon.

3. Write down a plan to help achieve your goals.

• I like to use a planner- like this one– to help keep track of weekly, monthly, and yearly goals. It keeps me on track both for things at home and for work.
• I like to start with steps to meet each goal and ways to check if I am meeting each goal.
• For example, I noticed I was losing my patience with my kids too often. So, my goal was to go a month without losing my cool. I need to break that goal into smaller chunks… starting with a day and then working towards a week. I also needed to give myself things to do if I felt I was getting close to losing my cool, such as going outside or into a different room for a couple of minutes and focusing on my breathing. I tracked this on my planner.
• You need to give yourself a specific plan and ways to help you succeed.

4. Get support- whether it is professional, support from a friend, coworker, online friend/blogger, or any other trusted person in your life.

• Sometimes we just need someone to hear us out that understand where we are coming from. I love talking to my husband, but I don’t think he truly understands the mom guilt. I have a couple of friends and my sister that are my go-to people to talk to when I feel my mom guilt creeping back in.
• I think this is one of the most important things! We NEED positive people in our life that will actually LISTEN!
• Check out this great email series for women to help improve self care and confidence. It’s a 14 day email series and it is an amazing resource. I recommend you check it out!
  

5. Write down a list of things you struggle with the most and that you feel the most guilty about.

• Once you have this list, take a good look at it… try to look at it with fresh eyes. What would you think of this list if a friend gave it to you?
• What things are actual things you should worry about or be concerned about and which things seem just plain old silly?
• Is there something on your list that seems so silly you can just forget about it? Know that mom guilt is normal and common. You will never get rid of it, but how can you keep it in check? What mom guilt things can you let go of?
• Hold onto the important things. The things that make you strive to be better. The things that keep your family safe and healthy. Let go of the silly things that are just cluttering your brain.
• I like this gratitude journal. Plus look at how cute it is!

6. Give another mom a compliment. I think giving someone else a compliment can make you feel better and you never know what compliment you will get back!

• When we are having a hard time, it can help us to feel better to help someone else. They are probably thinking the same thing about themselves as you are about yourself!
• Along this same idea, I like to write down 3 things I am grateful for each day. This can really help to change your mindset about things.
• A gratitude journal can be a great tool to use to help shift your mindset.

7. Try to find a manageable schedule for yourself and your family.

• I have a ton of guilt about cleaning… it takes away from time with my family but I get so stressed if my house is dirty… when I am stressed, I am crabby. When I am crabby, I am not the best mom I can b
• I have created a cleaning schedule to help me stay on top of things and spend less time cleaning. Check out my posts on deep cleaning schedule and how I keep my house clean and organized.

8. Know your strengths and weaknesses.

• If you don’t know, ask those closest to you.
• Knowing your strengths and weaknesses can help you to seek help where you need it and you know what things you need to work on.
• You can use your strengths to help you push towards your goals.’

9. Remind yourself over and over again that you aren’t perfect.

• No mom is perfect- despite what social media might make you think.
• We all have struggles, but our struggles will look different than someone else’s struggles.
• It’s ok to not be perfect and we need to come to terms with that.

10. Decrease your social media time… this is not only a time suck, but also this can contribute to mom guilt and cause anxiety! Remember that when you see things on social media, you are only getting part of the story.

11. When you feel mom guilt creeping in, ask yourself “What is the worst thing that can happen?” My husband likes to ask me this when he can sense I am getting stressed about something silly. It helps keep me in check. I sometimes worry about the silliest things and until he calls me out on it, I don’t realize how silly it is

• For example, I often stress about getting the laundry folded and put away… here comes my husband and asks “What’s the worst that can happen?” … I mean what IS the worst that can happen? Someone comes over and judges me for it? Not likely… usually the only people who come over are friends and family. They are unlikely to judge me. Someone can’t find a clean pair of underwear? Well, then they can dig through the basket and find a clean one. But no one is going to get hurt. It’s not going to change the outcome of anyone’s life. It’s ok!

12. Remind yourself that we all make mistakes. We learn from them, grow, and move on.

• We can’t beat ourselves up about it… I am guilty of this… We can’t change what we did in the past, but we can change the future.

So, mama remember that you can do this! You are great and you are not alone! Find your support system and reach out to them when you are having a hard time. We all need to be there for each other and support each other!

Take time for yourself and don’t feel guilty about it!

I sincerely hope that this post helps you. Makes your day a little better and decreases your stress at least a little. If this helps just one person, then it is a success!

I would seriously LOVE to hear from you! What things do you struggle with? What mom guilts do you have? How can we support each other?

I recently started writing on Medium and I have a great post on how my daughter’s school is helping me to become a better person. Check out that article here.